Paralyzed by Anger

After the murders happened, I started taking anti-anxiety medication to help me sleep. But behind the anxiety is a paralyzing amount of depression and anger. I just came back from meeting with my therapist, and she told me that I have a lot of anger that I need to find a way to get out. As a woman, I have a hard time expressing anger. And growing up, my father's anger was a very scary thing. I guess I try to bury the anger, and it gets turned around as depression. Instead of being able to express my anger, I get angry at myself. Instead, I should be angry at my dad, at other members of my family, at the guy who raped me, and at the woman who murdered my neighbor. I am starting to notice misdirected anger at my friends and other people I'm interacting with - someone does something little and I feel all this anger inside of me. I don't want to be an angry person. I want to be a happy person, a content person, a person who is making the world a better place. Instead, I feel miserable and angry.