Exhausted But Have To Decide

After I vented on my blog last night, I started reading the book "Dance of Intimacy" by Harriet Lerner. It calmed me down a little bit because I realized that part of the intensity of what I was feeling last night was part of this unhealthy "dance" that *A* and I do where I pursue and he distances. I also realized that the insensity is fueled by other things in my life like my mom dying and lunch guy hitting on me.

*A* asked me to come sit on the couch next to him and was being kinda sweet. I was still a little stressed/anxious though and had a hard time sleeping. I think he was too because he tossed and turned a lot. He kept twitching his leg at first, and I think he was having a nightmare. He told me that it was about the game Sodoku that we had been playing (competing) in bed before we went to sleep, but I don't know if I believe him. The night before, he had a bad dream about me being mad about him. Anyway....

I woke up at 5am and then *A*'s alarm went off at 6:30am, then he's futzing around all over the place and waking me up more. I feel so exhausted right now. And, I have to somehow decide today whether or not I'm traveling tomorrow back to KC, whether I'll drive or fly instead, whether or not to get a new car before I leave or in KC, AUUGGGGHHHH!!! On top of all this, I have a ton of work to do that is way overdue, and my advisor wanted to meet with me ahead of time to go over what I finished.

Link