JewBu Quest: From Abuse to Happiness

JewBu: a Jew who practices forms of Buddhist meditation & spirituality. This blog documents my quest to 1) heal from sexual, verbal, and emotional abuse, 2) come to terms with losing Mom and Grandma to Alzheimers, 3) find balance, explore the spiritual, stay present. Bascially, I've experienced some pretty crappy shit in my life and want to find a way to move past it and find happiness.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Leap of Faith/In Over My Head

So, I met with the endondist 45 minutes South of where I live. She suggested that I just wait til I get back to KC because basically there are too many people involved, and she doesn't want to do anything. I told her that I'm not travleing anymore with all of this pain.

She said that she's not sure if she can finish the root canal, but that it looks like the tooth is healing and the abcess appears to be gone. (All due to the Chinese medicine I received yesterday. I got Chinese antibiotics, which are working great and not taking much of a toll on my body.) If she can finish the root canal, it'll take two hours and she'll want to give me 1 mg of Xanax before she starts. So, I can't drive myself home. I'm getting my neighbor to take me; I said I'd pay her for her time. It is a big inconvenience on her, and I hate asking, but I don't know what else to do. The endodontist may even get in there and see that it can't be fixed and then stop and close up. Then, I'll still have to get the tooth extracted.

Even if it is successful, she said that the standard of a successful root canal is only 5 years. At that point, I'll have to have the tooth extracted anyway. I can't believe all of this. This is seriously more than I can take. I may have to put off going back to KC as planned, but the endondist says that we won't be able to tell until Friday, to see if I am having any problems. *A* is moving into my place in the next two days, so I really need to be out of here. I need to help take care of my mom. I'm so overwhelmed. My PTSD is completely triggered by all of this dental work. And, I'm still in horrible pain.


Blogger Deb said...

Hi Karma--I found your website while searching for blogs written by folks who care for family members with Alzheimer's. I hope you can get this dental problem cleared up, it sounds like you have so much on your plate right now. Sometimes you just have to concentrate on one thing--getting yourself better--and the rest of the world will have to wait. Take care of yourself. I take care of my Mom, who has Alzheimer's, and I know how hard it can be. I'm so glad you have your graduate work, to give you a "place" to go to that's challenging in an invigorating way--it's so important to have a sacred spot that's just for you. And it's always good to have a doggie around, too! Hang in there--if I can help, just drop me a line.

Deb Peterson

Tuesday, June 27, 2006 6:24:00 PM  
Blogger Karma said...

Thanks Deb. I really like your site, and when I'm feeling better, will spend a lot more time there. I appreciate your support. It makes me feel better knowing that people like you are out there.

Wednesday, June 28, 2006 7:46:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear K,
I am glad through all of this you found an alternate antibiotic that IS working. I feel terrible you have this pain to go through, but am very very happy to hear it is healing!!!!! yay!! If you do end up coming back to KC, I'll be in town June 30(late nite)-July 4th (early morning). Perhaps I'll see you if you decide to travel.

Sending healing vibes your way,

PS: Glad to see others are reading your blog as well! Support from many sources can be refreshing.

Wednesday, June 28, 2006 10:29:00 AM  
Blogger Karma said...

My travel plans are to arrive on the 4th, so it is a shame, but even if I go as scheduled, I'll still miss you. :(

Wednesday, June 28, 2006 11:25:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear K -
So sorry to hear that! Well, I'm sure there will be another time - I'm SURE of it. You sit tight and try to get some rest, I know your mind/body have been through a lot and I want you to be well when you finally do travel. I'm going to the Nelson when I'm in KC, I haven't seen it since the 2 billion remodel! I'll have to let you know how it is if you haven't been in a while perhaps I can be your personal tourguide. :)


Thursday, June 29, 2006 7:15:00 AM  
Blogger Karma said...

Ah, I miss the Nelson.

Thursday, June 29, 2006 1:03:00 PM  

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