JewBu Quest: From Abuse to Happiness

JewBu: a Jew who practices forms of Buddhist meditation & spirituality. This blog documents my quest to 1) heal from sexual, verbal, and emotional abuse, 2) come to terms with losing Mom and Grandma to Alzheimers, 3) find balance, explore the spiritual, stay present. Bascially, I've experienced some pretty crappy shit in my life and want to find a way to move past it and find happiness.

Monday, August 21, 2006

Is This Normal Or Is This Neglect?

Okay, so for you other caretakers out there or anyone else who might know, here's a question for you: Is what's going on at my mother's place normal or could it be considered neglect? Dad and I are meeting with the coordinator of Mom's floor tomorrow, and I'm trying to get prepared. It seems like there aren't enough staff and that no one is being properly cared for - but how much staff should they have? Aren't there any standards?

I called Kansas Adult Protective Services today, who sent me to the KS Dept. of Aging, who sent me to SRS (don't even know who they are) who sent me back to Adult Protective Services. Basically, everyone said that I can file a report and they'll investigate it, but that neglect is subjective and they just can't tell me anything. BS! I saw online a KS definition of neglect, which was very vague. I'm worried that if I file a report, that they'll take it out on my mom.

Does anyone have any experience with this?

Link

3 Comments:

Anonymous Keith said...

This brings back all the frustrations I felt when taking care of mom. She was also in a facility with the same company your mother is in and we went through all the things you listed and more. Is this level of care normal? It shouldn't be. Does it rise to the level of neglect? Probably not. Mom's facility reached the level of neglect, I'll tell you that story if you want to hear it.

I wish I had good suggestions for your meeting but I found that getting them to see my side of things during the meeting was easy, getting them to actually do something was like pulling teeth.

I know you've gotten the runaround from various organizations so far, but try to find out what agency is responsible for licensing the facility your mother is in. They would need to have minimum standards for care. Knowledge is power. At mom's facility, there was a big sign for the local ombudsman right by the front entry. Their job is to be the residents' advocate and they pointed me in the right direction for information - a lot of it was readily available online for here in L.A. County. The facility doesn't need to know you're doing this research.

Be professional, have conviction in expecting the best for your mother and have knowledge in case the first two aren't enough.

Good luck tomorrow.

Monday, August 21, 2006 5:31:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thinking about you, I know you will stand your ground. Your mother is really right you know, you are a great daughter, and it takes a lot of strength to do what you are doing. I really respect and admire what you are doing, in fact.

Can't wait to hear how it went, give 'em hell! In a professional way of course.

S.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006 6:42:00 AM  
Blogger Karma said...

Thanks Keith and Sanchi. I would like to hear your story, Keith. Is it on your blog?

Tuesday, August 22, 2006 9:34:00 AM  

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