JewBu Quest: From Abuse to Happiness

JewBu: a Jew who practices forms of Buddhist meditation & spirituality. This blog documents my quest to 1) heal from sexual, verbal, and emotional abuse, 2) come to terms with losing Mom and Grandma to Alzheimers, 3) find balance, explore the spiritual, stay present. Bascially, I've experienced some pretty crappy shit in my life and want to find a way to move past it and find happiness.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Spoke With the Director of Mom's Facility

I ran into the director of Mom's facility tonight when I went over to visit her. He confused me for my sister, asking me about my daughter. Anyway, I nonchaulantly brought up the issues of my mom's (lack of) care, and he said that the floor coordinator shared with him the list that I gave her.

He basically gave me this bs run around about how my mom is at the basic level of care, which means that she gets a 2-3 hours per day of one on one time including meal times and doing her laundry. Other than that, if she wants to do an activity - great - otherwise, she's on her own unless we pay more. (He said this of course much more diplomatically.) Then, he has the chutzpah to ask me if I've gone to their support group....like the problem is that my mom having Alzheimer's is hard for me and not that their skimping on the staff.

I came home tonight expecting to fight with my dad, but I kind of let it go because I got him to at least agree to meet with the floor coordinator to go over what she is supposed to be getting. But, he said that he doesn't want to talk about personalized care with them, or anything like it, because he doesn't want to pay anymore than he already is.

Now, I understand wanting her to get what she's supposed to be paying. But, I have so much anger bottled up inside of me right now....my parents have a LOT of money. Mom has a LOT LOT LOT of money in her name, that's just her money, given to her by her parents. There is NO reason not to spend Mom's money on Mom's care other than my father's stubborness. AUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH.

And, I'm still getting over this migraine, so I shouldn't be drinking. I seriously will fight this with my dad if I need to BUT I'm trying to get whatever I can get done without fighting, to chip away at the problem. I promise tonight both to myself and to my mother, that if its around the time that I'm going to leave and this is still going on - I will fight with him if necessary and with the administrators' at Mom's to get her the care that she needs.

4 Comments:

Blogger Bailey Stewart said...

Arrrrgggggghhhhh is right!

Sorry about the migraine - I used to suffer from those and am so thankful I found my trigger and was able to get rid of them.

And as I sit here sipping a margarita, I'm not going to say a word about drinking/migraine.

The webring image on my site is the new one from Michael, so you're supposed to have it in place of the old one.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006 9:47:00 PM  
Anonymous Peg Lee said...

Im sorry to hear about the stress in your life. My Dad is doing the same with Mom not wanting to give up some of his cash for Moms care but wanting the care for free. I suggested in Feb. that he pay me for caring for Mom and i would drop hours at work, he declined. My Dad is a compulsive spender since Mom has been sick...i dont understand and prolly dont need too. My Mom spent her entire retirement money on sweepstakes over $120,000, and has absolutley nothing to show for it. I know my Dad is doing the best he can do. I know our dads are going through their own stresses from loosing their wives, but why they dont want to put more money up is beyond me. If you find out anything from your Dad please do share and i will do the same.
TC Friend,
Peg

Thursday, August 17, 2006 6:40:00 PM  
Blogger Karma said...

My dad is a compulsive saver (hoards money). He actually has plenty of money to pay for Mom's care; he just can't bear to spend money on anything. With my dad, it is a PTSD thing I think. Anyway, I'm going to try to have a talk with him WITH my sister; I'll let you know how it goes.

And Bailey, tonight I toast you with the B&B my Dad bought especially for me.

Thursday, August 17, 2006 8:14:00 PM  
Blogger tafka PP said...

I know it isn't alcohol, but I've tagged you with a book MEME for some (what I hope is) welcome distraction...

Hang in there babes.

Friday, August 18, 2006 12:10:00 AM  

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