How Can I Cope With All This?

I have had the worst day: I cancelled DSL at Dad's to replace with cable modem because the DSL isn't working properly, which took 1/2 hour and cost $100! Then, I had a 2 1/2 hour conference call where my research team decided that I should do an extra several hours of work because they were too lazy to do their work on schedule. Then, I sat for 2 hours without any other family members bothering to come at Mom's facility where this woman from the Alzheimer's Assn came to talk, and I had to sit across from the executive director, which just made my skin crawl. And, the whole time, I just kept thinking about how I am totally drained, and no longer have the energy to fight with them anymore. I haven't even heard from the ombudsman. And then, the guy I've been seeing totally blows me off, and I know that I didn't see it going anywhere, but I really was looking forward to just being able to feel attractive and alive for like 5 minutes.

How do people do this for years? I am completely exhausted. I feel completely out of balance. And, I have to get up tomorrow and work and tuck Mom into bed. Actually being with Mom I really look forward to. I'm actually really upset about having to leave her. I really cherish our time together, and I can't believe that I'm going to leave next week, and when I come back, who knows how much the disease will have progressed?

I know that I have this tendency to get hormonal and then take it out on the guy in my life, and that's not healthy and I need to stop it. But, I just feel so horrible tonight. It made me feel a little better to talk to my friend Kathy on the phone (thanks K). But, I just feel completely overwhelmed. And, I don't want to keep this ridiculous stress level up this high. I don't want my life to keep being like this. But, I don't see how to change it.