Woken Up from a Migraine and Cried During Massage

I woke up at 5am from intense pain from a migraine. I took the samples the neurologist gave me, and now I can't take the Imitrex until tomorrow, and I feel horrible again. Part of what caused this might have been that I ate some nuts yesterday, and maybe that elicted a response, and I've been fighting off the migraine since last Friday when I was in San Fran and there was a change in barometric pressure. I don't know. Clearly, this is all stress related.

Thinking that grad school makes the PTSD worse and that I need to find a new career, it just challenges me to the core. I feel really shaken and like I don't know what I'm doing with anything.

I got a massage today from this woman who gives me regular treatments, who in addition to being a massage therapist, is also a grad student in Pscyhology. She told me that she felt a lot of emotions in my back, and it made me just start crying. I kept crying through the rest of the session.

I read this book last night The Wounded Woman which talked about how some women who have negative relations with their fathers tend to become overachievers and use their achievements as amour for avoiding their real feelings and that because of that, they develop health problems including headaches, migraines, and IBS - all of which I suffer from. Now today I just feel really vulnerable and like I'm not sure how to overcome it. The book talked about getting in touch with your rage, which I've done a lot this year, but I feel like I just don't know what to do with all of this anymore.

Plus, it is the year anniversary of my mom getting diagnosed with Alzheimer's. I'm just feeling pretty overwhelmed. Maybe I should go to Denver this weekend for the wedding since flying triggers migraines. I just want the pain to go away!

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