Stress, Impatience, & Taking Care of Myself

Even after my very relaxed days, I'm still feeling the surge of stress return. I leave town tomorrow for KC and have so much work to do before I go. Even though I know him better, I'm shocked that *A* hasn't said a single word about our relationship and what he wants or what we have or what he doesn't want, or some kind of clueing me in. Last night, he ended up staying up until almost 1am watching Saturday Night Live. We normally tape it because I have to be asleep by 11:30 to follow my sleep schedule. (I'm trying to recover from PTSD induced insomnia.) I even called down twice for him to turn off the tv because I couldn't sleep with it on, but he just left it on. I was so pissed off. And I really don't need anything to increase my stress level.

I want to try to stay focused on taking care of myself. I brought up a guided imagry CD after the *A* fiasco and finally fell back asleep. I think that taking care of myself has to be the highest priority - over work, over taking care of my family. I am so drained that if I don't stay really focused on taking care of myself, I'm not going to be able to keep up anything else.

So, I'm going to try to let go of my anger with *A*, and for the rest of the day figure out what I need to do to transition to Kansas City. I've got appointments in KC already with a therapist, an acupunturist, a massage therapist, and to get my hair cut. I tried to arrange that at least for the first week, I've got something set up for myself almost every day, about one hour is time just to relax.