Reality Check: Am I On the Right Path?

Yesterday, I met with a neurologist about the migraines I've been having, which was odd because these are the doctors that focus on Alzheimer's. He ordered some blood work and gave me a sample and told me to come back next month.

Then, I went to this local owned lingerie store that was nearby to clear my head. I showed the owner/manager the dress that I bought for the wedding and asked her what she suggest that I wear under it. She showed me this bra with attachable pearl straps, which looked completely goregous on. There was another woman working at the store, and they were both like drooling over how fabulous it looked together and yes, here' s my moment of pride, how great this made my chest look.

So, when she's ringing me up, she says, "now make sure that you take the straps off when you wash it, because these are the real deal." So, they're real freshwater pearls! It cost me $225, and I was in such shock that I just handed over my credit card.

The day before, I had made an appointment in Denver to have my hair done, massage, spa day basically before the wedding since I realized that this is going to be the only thing coming close to a vacation since last January, I think.

I feel really indulgent though, like maybe I'm going off the deep end with this. I normally hate shopping, hate these kind of events, try to out of the whole mentality of ME ME ME ME. I think I'm responding to feeling overwhelmed with work and school stuff and not being taken care of any more by my parents but needing to take care of them. And, I spend a lot of my time now in sweats or jeans, so getting dressed up and feeling really sexy, it just feels good. Plus, its hard going to this wedding with *A* where clearly everyone's going to be asking about our relationship and he's already warned me that he'll be blowing me off while we're there.

But, maybe I really need to return the dress and the bra and cancel the spa appointment and start being more "myself" - being low key, not spending a lot of money, not caring about how I look or what I wear. I feel really over indulgent to the point of selfish and kinda guilty about spending so much money on frivolous things. Maybe I need to find better ways to take care of myself? Maybe this is the voice of my father in my head and its worth it? I don't know; what do you think?

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