Woho Dating

My dating life is very much ramped up, and I'm not quite sure about how I feel about it all. I had a date with this very nice Jewish girl (NJG) who is getting her dissertation also related to gender issues. She was fantastic, and we had tons in common. Her dad had a stroke and is in a similar state to my Mom, and we got to bond over being so young having these issues and being dedicated to our parents and lots more.

Then, last night I went to a concert with my friend P. P has become one of my closest friends recently, but it was a bit weird for me when she started big time hinting about wanting to kiss me. And then, NJG was at the bar we went to later. I told P that I had been out with NJG, and she asked me if I can date more than one person at a time. I told her that we'd talk about it not while screaming in a loud bar. And then of course, I couldn't talk to either NJG or P without feeling like...just wrong. So, I just danced until I left.

I asked P to meet me for dinner tonight where she just laid everything on the table and said that she's not looking for a relationship now but that she really wants to just kiss me sometimes and casually date me. I told her that let's wait until at least next month when she files for divorce. Yes, that's what I said. Yes, its all very complicated.

Tomorrow night I have a date now with NJG. And then P and I are going to San Francisco for Thanksgiving. Augh! Plus, I have the guy in Kansas City. And there's a guy that I've been sleeping with here off and on but just as friends. So, my love life is a little bit full...especially for someone who is completely emotionally not available. My commitment is to my family right now. I feel oddly raw and confused. I mean, what the hell am I doing here juggling four people? I'm a monogamous kind of girl normally. And while NJG is perfect for me on paper, P is a really good friend and treats me fabulous. So what am I really looking for?