JewBu Quest: From Abuse to Happiness

JewBu: a Jew who practices forms of Buddhist meditation & spirituality. This blog documents my quest to 1) heal from sexual, verbal, and emotional abuse, 2) come to terms with losing Mom and Grandma to Alzheimers, 3) find balance, explore the spiritual, stay present. Bascially, I've experienced some pretty crappy shit in my life and want to find a way to move past it and find happiness.

Monday, February 02, 2009

The Short Version

So, here's my story: I had a phone interview a few days after the whole email experience (see the last post). That really raised my spirits. Of course, since then I found out that 30 people had a phone interview with this place, and they're likely to pick their top person from all 3. I haven't heard anything back which indicates I'm likely not that one.

My advisor left the country for a month long vacation, which makes me feel a bit free. Of course, there's the looming unemployment coming and the fact that I'm killing myself to finish a degree that they may hold back from me because of that unemployment.

On the upside, I am continuing my work of creating better connections in life with others. I'm taking a class on non-violent communication. I put myself back on and have a date on Saturday (an afternoon coffee date) with a man who is perfect on paper. And I'm managing to not get my hopes up too high about him and remembering that if he isn't a good guy who cares about strong communication and treating his partner well, then I'm not interested anyway.

I've been feeling extremely stressed the last week. I can feel it in my pulse. The stress in my life is enormous -- Mom's dying, graduating, unemployed soon, may have to switch careers, will likely have to move. Its a lot.

But I'm trying to find a BuJew way about it. I have been reading "When Things Fall Apart" again and trying to focus on practicing non-grasping and learning to enjoy the moment, even if the moment is hard.


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