JewBu Quest: From Abuse to Happiness

JewBu: a Jew who practices forms of Buddhist meditation & spirituality. This blog documents my quest to 1) heal from sexual, verbal, and emotional abuse, 2) come to terms with losing Mom and Grandma to Alzheimers, 3) find balance, explore the spiritual, stay present. Bascially, I've experienced some pretty crappy shit in my life and want to find a way to move past it and find happiness.

Saturday, December 27, 2008

What I Want in a Partner

I think that this is an Imago exercise. In order to move forward and to choose someone who doesn't fit into my usual pattern, I think that it will be useful to identify the core things that I'm looking for in a life partner. So here goes.
  1. Someone who treats me well.
  2. Someone who values communication.
  3. Someone intelligent, sensitive, and caring.
  4. A mensch.
  5. Someone who gets me.
  6. Someone honest, trust-worthy, loyal, responsible, and open to a long term relationship.
  7. Someone who values love and relationships.
  8. Someone who will allow me to be my own person.

The following are things that I want, but I don't need.
  1. A feminist
  2. A Jew
  3. An Israeli
  4. Someone spiritual
  5. Someone funny who makes me laugh
  6. An activist
  7. Someone with whom I can exchange massages at the end of the week
  8. Someone who will get along with my family and friends
  9. Someone creative and passionate

Here are things that are deal breakers:
  1. Someone controlling
  2. Verbal or emotional abuse
  3. Someone looking to dominate me and/or put me into a role of what they think a woman should be instead of creating a partnership based on who we are.
If any of my readers are single, then I challenge you to create your own list. The interesting thing for me about this list is realizing that of my core list, none of my past relationships actually fit what appears to be a pretty simple list (the first one). I think that I get caught up in the things that I want (but don't need) in a partner. I also realize that many of the things on my first list are very broad categories and that no one is sensitive about everything, all the time.

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Blogger April_optimist said...

What a great exercise! And terrific lists.

Wednesday, December 31, 2008 12:41:00 PM  

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