I Need My Mom

Losing my grandmother makes me come to terms with the fact that I'm losing my mother. Both of them have Alzheimer's disease, and when I last saw the both of them, it seemed like Grandma was actually doing a little better than my mom. Now, Grandma's taken a big downward turn.

And now granted, my mom has had this disease for awhile. BUT, a girl needs her mother. I can't believe that she won't be around for me to get married, have kids, get my degree. I know that it probably sounds silly, but without my mom, these things lose a lot of their meaning. A girl just needs her mom.

And now I'm in a situation where I'm helpless to do anything for my grandmother, even stop torturous steps from being taken to prolong her life. And now my mom needs me to take care of her, almost like she's the child now.

I'm feeling freaked out a bit. I'm also a bit high on cold medicine. I just asked A if he'd marry me over IM....