What Good Friends and Family Will Do

I spent the day with my cousins who drove down from up North. We went to the zoo and hung out a bit. Knowing that they were coming, I slept better last night (even though I'm trying to get over this damn cold) and had a great time today. They are probably the only people in my family that I have this kind of positive, healthy relationship with. And then, my best friend walked my dog for me yesterday when I didn't feel up to it (with my cold) and stopped by today. Being with them makes me feel so much better, just normal, and these other issues just sort of melt away at least for a little bit.

I really desperately want to have a family of my own - a partner, two kids, a real home, a strong community. I want to have this kind of support and environment around me all the time. I really long to not be in school right now. I just want to heal and be with other people and take care of them and have them take care of me. I know that's what my grandmother and mom wanted for me, which in part is why it was so fulfilling to do today. Unfortunately, its not in the cards. But, although I'm getting over this cold and clearly my grandmother is going to pass in the next couple of months and my mom isn't far behind, today was a good day.