JewBu Quest: From Abuse to Happiness

JewBu: a Jew who practices forms of Buddhist meditation & spirituality. This blog documents my quest to 1) heal from sexual, verbal, and emotional abuse, 2) come to terms with losing Mom and Grandma to Alzheimers, 3) find balance, explore the spiritual, stay present. Bascially, I've experienced some pretty crappy shit in my life and want to find a way to move past it and find happiness.

Monday, March 27, 2006

Coming to Terms with Grandma Dying

I finally called my aunt (who is responsible for my grandmother) to get an update on how Grandma's doing. I got her machine, and then she got mine. She told me that Grandma's is going downhill fast. I haven't spoken to my aunt much for a couple of years since she tried to put the weight of the world taking care of both my grandmother and my mother, who both have Alzheimer's. So, calling her was a big step for me. It is hard to trust my family because they treat me pretty badly generally. I'll call her again tomorrow morning (the time difference is pretty big). I am really not looking forward to having to bury my grandmother. I mean, even at this end stage, she still has a bit of her personality, and when she sees me, her spirit still glows. Of course, I haven't seen her in like 9 months, so maybe it has all changed now. Oy. I sent chocolate covered strawberries and cookies that'll arrive tomorrow, so that at least some of her last bites will be sweet.

Thanks, K, for encouraging me to write tonight.

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