Feeling Good....At Least Until Sundown

I was feeling really good today. I got work done - not my research- but some work. Honestly, I think I'm all a glow from having spent a lot of time recently with my best friend, who I am in love with. I know that he loves me too, but he doesn't want THAT kind of relationship. Anyway, spending time with him makes me all a glow. And I love doing teaching stuff, which is what I was doing today.

And then as evening sets in, my heart starts to race and I can't concentrate anymore, even on grading some papers which look really interesting and well written. Tomorrow, I'll have a great time grading them. But tonight, my head is spinning again with trauma. I just want to eat myself into a food coma, maybe with the help of some red wine. I wish there was a better way out of this.