JewBu Quest: From Abuse to Happiness

JewBu: a Jew who practices forms of Buddhist meditation & spirituality. This blog documents my quest to 1) heal from sexual, verbal, and emotional abuse, 2) come to terms with losing Mom and Grandma to Alzheimers, 3) find balance, explore the spiritual, stay present. Bascially, I've experienced some pretty crappy shit in my life and want to find a way to move past it and find happiness.

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Feeling Good....At Least Until Sundown

I was feeling really good today. I got work done - not my research- but some work. Honestly, I think I'm all a glow from having spent a lot of time recently with my best friend, who I am in love with. I know that he loves me too, but he doesn't want THAT kind of relationship. Anyway, spending time with him makes me all a glow. And I love doing teaching stuff, which is what I was doing today.

And then as evening sets in, my heart starts to race and I can't concentrate anymore, even on grading some papers which look really interesting and well written. Tomorrow, I'll have a great time grading them. But tonight, my head is spinning again with trauma. I just want to eat myself into a food coma, maybe with the help of some red wine. I wish there was a better way out of this.

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home

[rockin+girl.jpg]