A Better Day

Well, earlier in the day, I was about to write a post about how hard I was having it. And then, things got a whole lot better. Someone came over to help me clean out a closet, and it felt really good to actually accomplish something, even though it was a pretty long and difficult task. I worked out for the second day in a row by doing some stupid exercise video. But, there isn't anywhere else for me to go right now - can't go to school, getting run around from athletic clubs, yadda yadda. But, I'm trying to do the things that I need to do to get better.

I went to a support group for people experiencing loss. It felt really good to be in an environment where we could all just talk about this stuff, and I wasn't the worst one off. Its maybe bad that I need others to be on the low level that I'm at so that I don't feel alone, but it made me feel less alone. I felt so good that I got convinced to stay for the next "class" that the leader was leading - which was a self-esteem class. I feel really connected to my mom tonight and even though there's still anxiety, I just feel better about it. I feel like I'll get better and that makes the anxiety less. I feel less alone and that makes the anxiety less.

I know that it is hard on my friends to have me going through such a tough time, and I appreciate everyone's support. I will get better. I am getting better. (It is just a slow, long, hard ass process.)