Roller coaster

It is said that PTSD is like rollercoaster, and I feel it. I woke up this morning feeling wonderful and happy with my best friend and my dog to snuggle with. Then, we walked to my friend's place so he could change his clothes, and I had to wait outside. I started feeling my blood sugar drop, and my tuchus get cold on the rock I was sitting on. I thought I'd catch up on some calls, but the only person that I got ahold of was my grandmother's caretaker. She told me that my grandmother is doing about the same (not well), that dying of Alzheimer's is a terrible thing, saddness grief how's my mother oy. Anyway, I started feeling crappy after this. I called my friend to ask him again if I could sit inside his place to check my email instead of be outside, but he didn't answer his phone. I felt myself break apart, and I've felt this way for the rest of the day. It sucks, I need to work. I realize that I didn't get school work done at all yesterday with the exception of the couple of pages that I read while I worked out. I have like 100 pages left to go for Tuesday. And I have to decide what I'm doing with these classes. If Grandma would just die already, I could plan to take the time off and be with my family and whatever. But, things don't work out so well planned. I don't know if I should try to just pick myself up again or try and get work done. I'm so sick of this fucking PTSD. I want it to go away. I'm tempted to go back to the psychiatrist and ask for some sort of pill to take away this roller coaster, but I know that, I really just have to let myself feel all of this, just experience, and keep moving forward.