JewBu Quest: From Abuse to Happiness

JewBu: a Jew who practices forms of Buddhist meditation & spirituality. This blog documents my quest to 1) heal from sexual, verbal, and emotional abuse, 2) come to terms with losing Mom and Grandma to Alzheimers, 3) find balance, explore the spiritual, stay present. Bascially, I've experienced some pretty crappy shit in my life and want to find a way to move past it and find happiness.

Friday, May 05, 2006

Mom's in the Memory Care Facility

Well, I helped move my mother over to her new "home." She actually has been doing as well as can be expected. There have been a couple of heartbreaking moments, but the place is super nice and the staff seem to really care and are trying to help with her adjustment. The place is 100xs better than where my grandmother is, I think, and Grandma is supposed to be in a good place. Anyway, I got my mom's room together, and it is nice. Last night, we did an arrangement of dried flowers, so her room smells good too. I'm going to go over there this afternoon and again after dinner. I feel guilty when I leave her, but I know that she's adjusting to the place and that once she does, that she'll probably be even happier there than she was at home. My dad was yelling at her and had lost his patience. Here she can even talk to people without being nervous. The other residents are at her level of communication. It is actually almost funny; they can talk for a long time just about "oh what's your name?" "my name is ___". Once everyone at the table has said it, they've forgotten everyone's names so they start over. It is hard to see her like this but it makes it soo much easier knowing that she is well taken care of.

I don't even know what to do with myself now. It is time for lunch, but I am surely not hungry. I almost want to go shopping to clear my head a bit. Maybe I should go work out or something. Oy. Of course, my period is going to start today too, so I'm super emotional. I am looking forward to having dinner tonight with *K* and my dad. I feel like helping him is helping my mom in the end, because the better off he is, the better he can help care for my mom. And he has actually gone over quite a bit. I think because me and his best friend and the Alzheimer's Association and everyone have pushed it a bit. He was there this morning when I went to visit my grandmother. I think his best friend talking to him helped a lot, and also I think he is REALLY making an effort to have things go well with me because he knows that he needs help now. Okay, I feel better just writing this. I'm going to go buy my mom this toner from Body Shop that has a spray and doesn't have to be taken off and then stop by the house before going to see Mom.

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