JewBu Quest: From Abuse to Happiness

JewBu: a Jew who practices forms of Buddhist meditation & spirituality. This blog documents my quest to 1) heal from sexual, verbal, and emotional abuse, 2) come to terms with losing Mom and Grandma to Alzheimers, 3) find balance, explore the spiritual, stay present. Bascially, I've experienced some pretty crappy shit in my life and want to find a way to move past it and find happiness.

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Depressing: Preparing for the Move

I got a call from my dad this morning. He said he's made arrangements to move my Mom into the home next Wednesday, the day after I arrive to town. And granted, my flight doesn't land until 8pm. I tried to talk to him about getting her room ready, but he didn't want to hear it because he said he has too much paperwork to get through. So, I decided to just go out and get some stuff to make her room nice. I found info about the assisted living facility that my dad choose by looking it up on the internet. I then called them and spoke with someone for ideas. It turns out that while my dad told me that they furnish the rooms, that they actually give you the choice. And he chose to just take whatever they give him instead of looking for stuff that she'll like or taking stuff from the house.

The suitcase is already full just with the bedding, and I realize that I forgot a mattress pad. It won't fit in, but hopefully Dad will get over himself and can go out and get this and maybe a couple of other just basic things. He is so fucking military that now that he's got his plan, which doesn't take at all into account anything emotion or feeling, just tries to get the job done - which is getting her moved.

I'm in shock. I feel like I write that almost every day, but I can't believe that I'm rushing around here trying to find stuff for the room that she's going to live in. I'm worried about how she'll be when she walks in, and I feel like I'm the only one. I tried to get my sister to help me, but I can't even get her to send me a picture of her kids for me to blow up and make something nice for my mom's walls.

Anyway, my idea is to blow up two pics - one of my dog at the beach and the other of my neice and nephew. I'll get them framed really nicely and even if she can't recognize who is in the pictures, they'll look nice on her wall. And maybe sometimes she will remember and smile.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

It sounds like it has not registered in your father's mind that this move will be your mom's new *home*. And that she needs to be comfortable there. You will probably have to re-access her clothes and other personal items, your father is not able to think to pack and consider the same wonderful things you are. Perhaps you can find some photo albums and other things at your parents home that you can ove over to her room as well. Pics of you and your sister and father too. The enlargements you are talking about are great too! Maybe her favorite flowers in a vase from their home would be nice in her room. It's good you are focusing on the basics to bring, and you are there long enough you can worry about some of the aesthetic things after you get to town. After all, once she is moved, you will have some time on your hands and I'm sure you won't want to spend it sitting at your parents house. This is a transition for everyone, and your being a part of this move will help you feel more of a part of things. I'm glad you are going.

Friday, April 28, 2006 7:59:00 AM  
Blogger Karma said...

Thanks, I am so glad that I'm going too. I got blue sheets and this really fuzzy, soft blue comforter. (Blue is Mom's favorite color.)

I'm trying to figure out how to get these new pictures together because I'm out of room in the suitcase, but I might send the via internet to the Walgreen's near my parents and just have them ready.

I think the morning she moves, I'm going to assign my Dad to get her flowers...because I'm trying to think of things to keep the two of them busy but not in their house or the new place, so that I can rumage through some of my mom's things to find her favorite stuff. I think I'll have to take some pictures off their wall, which will piss my dad off, but I don't care.

Even if I do have time later to go through stuff, I really want my mom to walk into her new room and feel at home. I feel like this will be one of the greatest gifts I can give her ever.

Friday, April 28, 2006 8:20:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I had a suggestion for the photos.....perhaps you could get them printed while you are in CA, and put them in a folder in your carry-on and then go over to Hobby Lobby and pick up some premade frames with mats while in KC, as long as the pics are standard size, they'd look rather nice. My mom just did some pics up like that from her Europe trip and they seriously look custom. Or, try - they offer a in-house framing service, you upload your photo, they print your pic, put it in a frame and ship it to your destination. The blue theme sounds pretty and relaxing, btw. I'd like to send your mom something if you don't mind, can you email me her new address?

Friday, April 28, 2006 9:42:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

BTW, This is probably one of the most considerate Mother's Day gifts you can give her. Too bad your sis can't come down too, but perhaps she can come visit after the transition period!

Friday, April 28, 2006 9:46:00 AM  

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