JewBu Quest: From Abuse to Happiness

JewBu: a Jew who practices forms of Buddhist meditation & spirituality. This blog documents my quest to 1) heal from sexual, verbal, and emotional abuse, 2) come to terms with losing Mom and Grandma to Alzheimers, 3) find balance, explore the spiritual, stay present. Bascially, I've experienced some pretty crappy shit in my life and want to find a way to move past it and find happiness.

Friday, April 28, 2006

Hunter Green

God, I wish that some of this could just go well. I spoke with my cousin, Judy, who freaked out at me a bit about what an asshole my father is. I think she's pissed because Dad talked to me about it before other people, and now I'm like a co-consipirator.

Dad calls and he's all well I only have a couple of days left, so I'll survive how hard it is to have my mother there. Grr. Then, I talk to the woman from the facility she's going to, and it turns out that my mom's new room is hunter green. Now, I have nothing wrong with the color; my car is a green color. But, my mom hates green. She hates it. Why would my dad put her in a green room? He hates green too. She in part hates it because she knows he hates it. It probably represents to her that she's being abandoned by my father. And now I bought all of this blue stuff and already washed it, and how will I make it all work? I'm thinking about maybe getting an accent rug or something, but at this point, everything has to be shipped and I don't even know what the room really looks like. It is just depressing that she'll be somewhere that is so not made for her. Everything in the room is this green color - the walls, the carpet, the shower curtain and bedding (which I'll bring her blue instead), but gross. None of the stuff of hers from home that I had planned on bringing over will match - not her favorite painting or her rug or anything.

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