Trying To Decide: An Exercise

What Would Happen If I Go Back To KC 'Til Fall Quarter

1. I would likely lose my job. I wouldn't have a new job until Spring.
   
2. I would have to deal with my dysfunctional family.
3. I would get disconnected from my graduate program and my studies.
4. It would be very draining.
5. I would get to have precious time with my mom.
6. I would probably get to spend some nice time with my niece.
7. I would have more opportunities to see my grandma, perhaps on a better day when she'll recognize me and be able to interact better.

What Would Happen If I Stay Here

1. I could keep my job.
2. It would be very draining.
3. I could still go back and visit KC.
4. I would be connected to my grad program and could get more feedback on upcoming presentation and encyclopedia entry that I'm writing (that I have contract to finish July).
5. It would be harder on the rest of my family.
6. It would be difficult to concentrate and ground myself because part of me will be in the other place.
7. I would miss out on time with my mom and not have say in how she's cared for like if I'm there.
8. It would be somewhat disorienting for my mom to keep track of if I'm there or not, lots of goodbyes, and probably confusing.
   

What Would Happen If I Don't Go Back to KC

1. My dad and other family will be overwhelmed. I'll still be hearing about everything on the phone.
2. I might regret not taking the time to be with my mom.
3. I'll be somewhat isolated likely because not with people who are dealing with same thing that I am.
4. Don't know how well Mom will be cared for. She'll be more anxious, perhaps will go downhill faster.

What Would Happen If I Don't Stay Here

1. I'll get disconnected from my program. I'll be the last one to get an MA in my cohort. My research will be less likely to get done, and it'll be harder to get feedback on it (unless I travel back to here).
2. I won't have my home and my routine to ground me.
   
3. I'd have to drive out to Kansas City probably, especially since I'd take the dog, and I wouldn't have anyone (other than dog) to drive with.
4. I'd be putting my career on hold, and perhaps be moved from the "A" list of upcoming scholars in my field to the "B" list.
5. I would likely have a hard time adjusting back later.
6. My family would try to suck me into to not going back and into their yucky dynamics.