I'm Not Sure What to Do

I feel stuck in this decision - should I go back to KC to take care of my mom? My cousins showed up today with an hour notice to take me to the zoo. They both said I should go back to KC, although didn't seem to want to talk about it much. Then, I had my book club even though I didn't finish the book or make it to the store to get stuff, and they didn't want to talk about it either. I understand all of this, that people don't want to talk about this, but I just feel paralyzed. I am afraid to leave my home and my life; I don't want to give this things up or live in KC. I wish I knew how long that I'll have, if I'll be strong enough, if I'll just end up getting stuck in dysfunctional family dynamics.