Feeling Lonely

Dad called told me that he's going over to my sister's to make hamburgers. Mom isn't coming because my nephew is sick. This is the second week that they're doing it without Mom, as last week the weather was so bad. I imagine how lonely she would feel if she knew that they were all together without her. And I miss being there too and playing with my niece and just being all together.

I left a message for my neighbors to come over and watch a movie tonight if they want. I could also go to the symphony and get a cheap last minute ticket. I think I'll just stay home though. I'm having a hard time concentrating on work though. I keep thinking about the laundry and what I'll have for lunch. (My fridge is pretty barren.) I called *A* to see if he wants to get brunch, but he's going to work out instead and then to watch basketball. I was hoping he'd say something about dinner because at that point, I was feeling too desperate. He gets his mail delivered here, and he got a bunch of stuff that I know he's been waiting for. I feel like I'm a burden to him more than someone he wants to see and hang out with or even be there through this hard time.

I feel really lonely right now. I do have friends here that I'll hang out with tomorrow, and I have some great friends like Sanchi who live in other places. But, right now, I just feel really alone with all of this grief, pain, and piles of work to do. I find myself longing for a hug and someone to tell me that this is all going to be okay.