JewBu Quest: From Abuse to Happiness

JewBu: a Jew who practices forms of Buddhist meditation & spirituality. This blog documents my quest to 1) heal from sexual, verbal, and emotional abuse, 2) come to terms with losing Mom and Grandma to Alzheimers, 3) find balance, explore the spiritual, stay present. Bascially, I've experienced some pretty crappy shit in my life and want to find a way to move past it and find happiness.

Monday, June 25, 2007

Why I Love Jerry

I realize reading many of your comments that I haven't described to you what it is about Jerry that makes me want to be with him. I share my frustrations and hard times here, but not the everyday nice things that happen. So, I figure that maybe this will be good for the both of us - for you to fill you and for me to distract me from preparing for my class this afternoon.

Here's why I love Jerry:
  1. He's become a very good friend. Jerry is the person on a day to day basis who cares how my day has gone and if I've eaten well and how I feel. If I need something, Jerry's there to help me with it. He's very caring and makes me feel very taken care of. That's a big one actually, and deserves its own number here.
  2. Jerry is always doing things to take care of me. He built me a new computer and got it all set up with software and stuff. He installed an automatic watering system on both my porches. He is always making me dinner or blueberry pancakes or yerba matte or something. He gave me his old tv and dvd player (with both work fine, they just use Jerry's roommate's stuff at his house) without taking money for them. When I was sick, he went to pick stuff up for me at the store, even though I said I didn't need it.
  3. Jerry doesn't make promises that he can't keep. If he even says that he'll do something, he tries to follow through, even if its something that he later decides that he doesn't want to do. He's very trustworthy.
  4. Jerry makes me laugh.
  5. Jerry's very intelligent, but also very down to earth and open minded. He isn't snobbish about how smart he is and is one of the few grad students I know who likes to hang out with non-intellectuals. He has different sides to him including being able to make or fix just about anything.
  6. Jerry's adventurous, so life with him always feel like an adventure. He loves traveling to different countries especially and being outdoors (something that we share). It also makes him up for trying new things.
  7. Jerry's a good person. This sounds like a little thing, but I think it is actually very rare. Jerry has heart; he's very sweet. He enjoys doing things for other people and feeling connected to others. He's also a person who realizes that he's not "done", and is clearly trying to make himself a better person over a time.
  8. I sometimes get this reactionary fear response and have a hard time raising my arms to hug him, and he's always very gentle but persistent about getting me to trust him enough to hug him.
  9. Jerry is much more mature of a person than I'm use to being with, and I'm learning a lot about how to be with a person from him. He is generally very calm, and when I start to get emotionally freaked out, I generally know that I can lean on him to be much more level headed about it. He doesn't get scared off easily by things that other guys do or by rough times. He also really tries to make things work with us. He's certainly making an effort about how he treats me. He's been reading this book that I gave him towards the beginning of our relationship about tantric sex (a lot of guys won't read books you give them), and he seems to be making an effort in that whole department to meet me halfway.
  10. Jerry really savors life; he knows what it means to suck the marrow out of life. It helps me to do the same just to be around him.

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2 Comments:

Blogger Jerusalem Joe said...

Beautiful.
This will make a great read one day after you two get married.
I'm wondering - does jerry know these things? do you praise these traits in him so that he knows you appreciate them and him?
I'm sure he would enjoy that and it may encourage him to do likewise.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007 12:09:00 AM  
Blogger Karma said...

Thanks Joe. I'm not thinking about marriage at this point. I'm just thinking about being with Jerry now and not getting lost about the future. Anyway, I've given him a list like this before - probably about a month or two ago. Its a thought to give him this one too. He hasn't told me that he loves me yet, so I don't want to be pushy about that subject.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007 8:41:00 AM  

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