JewBu Quest: From Abuse to Happiness

JewBu: a Jew who practices forms of Buddhist meditation & spirituality. This blog documents my quest to 1) heal from sexual, verbal, and emotional abuse, 2) come to terms with losing Mom and Grandma to Alzheimers, 3) find balance, explore the spiritual, stay present. Bascially, I've experienced some pretty crappy shit in my life and want to find a way to move past it and find happiness.

Friday, August 24, 2007

Nice Date, Mean Migraine

I had a really nice first date on Thursday. Having the date at the end of the night helped me focus on work during the day. For about 15 minutes, I felt a little self conscious because on his profile (we met online) says that he's interested in women who have either thin or athletic bodies.

But then I arrived and noticed that though his profile said that he's 5'5", clearly he's only about my height (like 2+ inches shorter). And when I got carded at the door (because there was a cover at the coffee shop and a band), the guy was shocked to see my real age. And, I just had fun with it. We talked for about an hour or so, and he immediately emailed me to set something up again. This time - hiking, picnic, or walk on the beach. Sounds really nice. But, I'm thinking that I'll put off meeting with him again until next week perhaps so that I force things to go slow.

I thought that maybe I'd see Jerry finally on Saturday. But, I emailed him and haven't heard back.

I woke up Friday at 4am with a migraine. I took Imitrex and slept and slept, but it hasn't totally gone away yet, even after a second one last night around 8ish. I am not in tons of pain, but I'm still nauseous and feel the left side of my body all tight. I'm also kinda dizzy and out of it. I slept most of the morning. I'm supposed to go to the Alzheimer's Association fundraiser "Memory Walk" at 4:30, but I'm not sure if I'll be up for it. Then, I'm supposed to have a different first date at 9 at this bar. I know that I can't drink anything. I'm tempted to cancel, but I hate to do so so last minute.

I'm feeling a lot better about things, I think. I still have no plans for Saturday night, but at least I've been able to concentrate more. I'm starting to move past the emotions of the break-up.

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Blogger April_optimist said...

(((Hugs))) on the migraines. My daughter gets them, too. I'm glad you're taking things slow with the guy you met. I'm glad you're exploring possibilities with several dates. I'm glad you're feeling more at peace with yourself.

You know I love lists. Maybe make a list of small things that make you smile. It could be a favorite cup of tea, a particular movie that makes you laugh (I adore Galaxy Quest), a place that makes you smile, a favorite book or song fill in the blanks. Make a point of doing things that make you smile every day.

I love seeing you begin to find your sense of self.

Friday, August 24, 2007 1:35:00 PM  
Blogger I Survive! said...

Glad to see you are finding yourself again.

Saturday, August 25, 2007 4:03:00 PM  
Blogger Karma said...

Its so interesting to see these comments about me finding myself again because I don't know if I would have exactly noticed this process without you all pointing it out.

I'll come back to the list in a couple of days when I have time. Its a good idea.

Sunday, August 26, 2007 10:47:00 AM  

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