Working on Taking Care of Myself

I've still been feeling sick to my stomach and not sleeping so hot. But, I am getting over the hump of the crying and shock. I think all in all, I'm doing a lot better.

I am a little nervous that Jerry might be reading my blog. I mentioned to him a while back that I have one and asked him to not look it up. He said at the time that he'd respect my privacy, but I don't put it past him to have looked up this blog. I think that I feel okay with it because I don't feel ashamed of anything that I'm thinking or feeling. I am somewhat tempted to take down the blog from the public feed, especially because my readership appears to have gone down, but I appreciate having it up here for people can see. I think it goes along with the quotes that you'll see in my profile (see left).

Anyway, I hung out a couple of nights ago with my neighbor. I'm making plans for another massage next Friday and to have dinner with the therapist (who has also become a friend) afterwards. I also have more tentative plans with my neighbor for probably this weekend. Tonight, I have plans to go to dinner with a classmate. All of these things are happening because I'm making a concerted effort to do things with people.

Today, I went to acupuncture. Then, I picked up tickets to go to this museum event with *A* and his girlfriend. A friend of mine saw me walking down the street and whistled, raising my confidence a bit. I also returned this book on emotional abuse that I had ordered online weeks ago and clearly no longer need. In exchange, I got a book on healthy communication, a novel, a gift for a friend. I stopped by this pastry shop and bought a snack for later - a slice of apple cake like my Oma used to make. I picked up lunch around the corner and thought to myself about how I am capable of taking care of and treating myself. I don't need Jerry to take care of me. It would've been nice to have him in my life, but I feel like I have my power back.

Now, I've got some time to get some work done, although I really am still struggling to get back in the swing of things. I'm going to try to get a bike ride in today, if even like yesterday, just up to a coffee shop to work for an hour and have a change of scenery.