JewBu Quest: From Abuse to Happiness

JewBu: a Jew who practices forms of Buddhist meditation & spirituality. This blog documents my quest to 1) heal from sexual, verbal, and emotional abuse, 2) come to terms with losing Mom and Grandma to Alzheimers, 3) find balance, explore the spiritual, stay present. Bascially, I've experienced some pretty crappy shit in my life and want to find a way to move past it and find happiness.

Monday, November 26, 2007

Ah Vacation!

Ahhh, vacation was so nice. My friend, P, and I took a trip to San Francisco. I LOVE SF! It was great -we went shopping, stayed at a fantastic little inn that made fantastic breakfasts, ate great food, went dancing at a queer women party.... It was a little awkward at times because P has made it clear that she has a thing for me, and she's not exactly supporting my desire to not move past friendship. She was snuggling all night, flirting with me all day. It was good for my ego on some level, but it still made me feel not seen and kinda not respected. Its like she decided that being with me is something that she wants, and she's trying to achieve that without care about what I want or need.

I am glad to be home. Although its all of a sudden back into the family drama. Dad is going forward selling Mom's condo. My sis is freakin about it and wants to go stay there over Winter Break when I'm in town. Dad wants me to come with his friends for New Years and sis won't even think about the holiday until she figures out what she's doing. Sis is trying to manipulate Dad into paying for the trip.

So what do I want to do for New Year's? Ask Cory to go out even though he may need to go to the synagogue's event with his family? Go with my friend Merissa out on the town like last year? Dinner with Dad and his friends? Try and organize Dad and sis and everyone to do something together with Mom?

I am enjoying having no big problems right now. These aren't crises. I have lots of plans with lots of different people. I'm enjoying the calm of vacation.

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