Angry with My Father

Things with Mom are spiraling out of control. So, since the whole shtick with Dad, Mom's been put on Oxycontin, had two seizures and a fever, and has basically barely been awake. She's barely eating or drinking, and they've put swabs by her bed so that her mouth can be swabbed. Today, Dad invited the private caregiver to work 8 hours instead of 4, starting tomorrow.

Hospice says that they're unlikely to move her to the hospice house because according to them, she's not "actively dying." I pushed the social worker that if she's not eating or drinking, sleeping most of the day, and having seizures, then how can she possibly make it much longer? She suggested that I push my father to hire the caregiver 24/7 instead. While I had offered two weeks ago to come back if she'd organize a family meeting with hospice, she suggested that it would work out without me having to come home.

So I tried calling my father right afterward, and I offered to pay for the rest of the hours for the private caregiver out of my own pocket. He told me unequivocally no. He told me that I was just being emotional, and that he just doubled the hours so I shouldn't be complaining. I said, "if I want to pay for it, what does it matter to you if she has the extra care?" He told me that his steak dinner was getting cold and so he wouldn't discuss it further.

I hung up the phone and shouted "fuck you!" three times. I'm REALLY angry with him. I'm frustrated that hospice won't intervene more on her behalf and that the social worker talked me out of coming home two weeks ago to try and fix things before my father had officially solidified his position. I'm tired of fighting for my mother's care. And I fear that she's going fast.