Closure

Today, my kitchen remodel is finally finished! It looks fantastic. I also finished a draft of an article, which my advisor told me she'd have read by Monday. And before hearing that while we had dinner at my favorite restaurant....

I called Larry to ask for my food back. (He had been storing it at his house while I was waiting for the new fridge to arrive due to a bad mix-up.) He didn't answer at first, then called me back but didn't leave a message. (I saw it on caller id.) So, when I phoned back, he offered to bring the food over. This was a big relief because I had basically given up on getting it back.

He came over, gave me the last of my stuff back, and had very little say. He just had that scared look on his face that he's had since he broke up with me. And I was VERY polite the whole time, saying nothing to engage him on a negative level.

It felt like such a relief to be able to see him and have the emotion past me. I don't want to be with him anymore; I see him now for who he is. I am happy with my life. I am very blessed with many things.

At the same time, I earlier today realized that my love life is sort of hopeless. But nonetheless, I am feeling very appreciative of my life right now. And just to make closure complete, tonight I watched the movie "40 year old virgin." This is a movie that Larry told me he hates -- I think in part because he can relate to the character. (He is that level of a nerd.) Anyway, watching it, I imagined myself letting go of my relationship with Larry.

And here's how I'll do it better in the future (thanks April): I'll take good care of myself. Right now that means eating well, spending time with friends, taking an adult ed fun class, reading, being balanced, working out, finding fun things to do around town, yoga, acupuncture, therapy, massage, facials, watching good movies, reading good books, blogging, riding my bike, etc.