JewBu Quest: From Abuse to Happiness

JewBu: a Jew who practices forms of Buddhist meditation & spirituality. This blog documents my quest to 1) heal from sexual, verbal, and emotional abuse, 2) come to terms with losing Mom and Grandma to Alzheimers, 3) find balance, explore the spiritual, stay present. Bascially, I've experienced some pretty crappy shit in my life and want to find a way to move past it and find happiness.

Monday, November 10, 2008

The Problem With Plans

Augh stress. So here's situation right now: I arranged to drive to Kansas City to get my stuff, my dog, and whatever I'll want of my mother's. I'm doing this over Winter Break because I was offered a last minute job teaching at my university starting in January, and so if Mom dies during the time I'm teaching, I won't be able to have much time to go back. I can probably take a week off, but not much more.

My Dad has a tendency to purge their stuff quickly after someone dies. He's already begun purging things of Mom's, but I have been wary of taking anything while she's still alive. Its clear though now that I have to just take what I want or it will likely be gone.

I arranged to drive to Kansas City with *Z*. Now, I need someone to drive with me back from KC to home with the dog. I had a classmate who lives in KC who was going to do it, but I got an email today from her backing out of it. So I'm a little stressed. I REALLY don't want to have to drive by myself and the dog. It was so hard doing it with Mom when she couldn't share the driving, but at least then she could stay with the dog in the car. I've mentioned it to a LOT of people who just aren't into it.

And here's my update on Mom: Dad called me to tell me that Mom's having explosive, horrible diarrhea. He said that there are two things that she gets that relate to digestion - Activa yogurt and a stool softener. Because the stool softener is regulated by the doctor, he's going to just stop feeding her yogurt. I tried to explain to him that yogurt helps regulate diet but doesn't produce loose stools. That she definitely needs to be taken off the stool softener. He said that he wanted to just alter the yogurt and see what happens. I got off the phone immediately. I then called my sister to ask if I should call hospice, but my sister started lecturing to me about some special diet that perhaps Mom should be on -- and maybe she'll bring Mom applesauce. So I waited a day and then called. The nurse on call said that it wouldn't be a problem, and she'd have Mom taken off the stool softner and maybe they'll put her on immodium. My family is so frustrating; I can't believe that I'm going to Kansas City!

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Blogger April_optimist said...

You will be in my thoughts and prayers. I'm so glad you are going to go get what's important to you NOW because clearly you can't count on your dad to save any of it for you. And you'll have your dog again which will be a GOOD thing.

Sympathies on the car trip. A friend of mine often takes her dog on trips with her and the dog is able to be alone in the car for short stretches while she goes into a place to eat or runs into a store to get a few things. But I can see it would be much easier if you had someone with you.

Monday, November 17, 2008 9:53:00 AM  

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