JewBu Quest: From Abuse to Happiness

JewBu: a Jew who practices forms of Buddhist meditation & spirituality. This blog documents my quest to 1) heal from sexual, verbal, and emotional abuse, 2) come to terms with losing Mom and Grandma to Alzheimers, 3) find balance, explore the spiritual, stay present. Bascially, I've experienced some pretty crappy shit in my life and want to find a way to move past it and find happiness.

Friday, March 31, 2006

Confrontation

So, I confronted my therapist this morning. I told her that I think it would be better if I went to a different therapist. I am a bit releaved, as she generally took it okay and focused on what I need and sounded okay if I do go to someone else. Although she did: 1) tell me that I should move, 2) try to get me to refer me to have a couple of sessions for hypnosis with someone that she supervises, 3) fail to acknowledge that she making real serious mistakes with me and that there is counter-transference, 4) encouraged me to take time off instead of figuring out how to get work done. She made an effort to help me think of what I need to improve over this next week, but she seemed incapable of thinking of anything other than referring me out. Like how about some of the numerous things on the list? How about that I actually know how to get better (somewhere in me does know this) and I need to tap into that knowledge, not have someone tell me what to do. I think that I'm doing the right thing. And, I found a new therapist on my own who looks really good - she has an eclectic approach, is a feminist, and is Jewish. I'm proud of myself for having made this move. I need to believe that I can get better and part of that is going to be working with someone who not only shares this belief, but can come up with a plan to make it happen.

So, the rest of today should be pretty nice. I have an appointment with my chiropractor, will walk karma, get a therapudic massage, make some dinner, and then later tonight I'm sure I'll get a text message from A asking me to give his drunk tuchus a ride home. We'll fall asleep and wake up cuddling, and then go have some breakfast. Now, I just have to manage to get some work done in between all of this AND appreciate how good I have it today.

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