Taking Back My Power

So tonight, instead of worrying when A texted me that maybe he won't need a ride (and spend the night here snuggling with me as is our ritual), I decided to try to break some of my patterns and decided to do some work on my place. After a trip to home depot, I patched up a wall and put up some pictures. Last week, A seemed like he wasn't going to come over (like tonight), and I freaked out. It was one of the few times that I called me therapist at home (and she wasn't all that helpful). Tonight, I knew that I had to be independent, and I feel okay about it. I need to regain connection with my independence. When I feel weak, I feel like I can't do things on my own. BUT I can take care of myself.

And working on my place today (earlier I did some gardening too) is something that I can do now. I feel like I accomplished something today, even if my attempts to work on my thesis were futile. I sat with a book and a computer window open, but just too anxious to accomplish anything. Okay, the dog says that she needs some snuggles....