JewBu Quest: From Abuse to Happiness

JewBu: a Jew who practices forms of Buddhist meditation & spirituality. This blog documents my quest to 1) heal from sexual, verbal, and emotional abuse, 2) come to terms with losing Mom and Grandma to Alzheimers, 3) find balance, explore the spiritual, stay present. Bascially, I've experienced some pretty crappy shit in my life and want to find a way to move past it and find happiness.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Conflicting Advice

I called the woman from the local Alzheimer's Association and she gave almost opposite advice of the KC Alzheimer's Assn. The really frustrating thing is that both tended to give me advice and really push on it that doesn't fit the situation. Both pushed that I need to get my mom medicated. Well how the hell am I supposed to do that? I feel like everyone keeps telling me what to do and pushing me to do more and more. Okay, and of course I'm over-simplifying, but I'm just frustrated.

I had lunch with this woman from the rape crisis center who heard my presentation last week. Turns out, she's actually leaving the center because of some of the issues that I brought up in my talk - that there is a sort of fear of authority, a need to do things by consensus which leads to certain things not getting done. Another staff member is leaving as well, so the turnover there is just out of control.

But anyway, she asked about my research, and what the fuck do I have to say? What am I doing today, she asked. Well, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing today. I'm going to survive and take things as they come and maybe do a little work for my research team. I feel like my life is spinning out of control and like I'm moving farther and farther away from the things that I want in life.

I really do appreciate my close friends like S and K who look out for me and check up on me.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just had to read (post) this quote I read last week, and have been personally doing better last week after really thinking about it. This is more for your research than anything, but you can apply it to anything you want....

Remember, where you are does not define where you are going. This
will deliver you from frustration.
God has a plan for your life. Keep your eye on the prize.

Seriously, this spot you are in, the things that are consuming time which would normally be spent on your research -- it's not going to be this way forever. There are just other things to resolve on the way to acheiving your goals.

Thursday, April 27, 2006 11:54:00 AM  
Blogger Karma said...

Thanks. I like the quote.

Thursday, April 27, 2006 6:06:00 PM  

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