JewBu Quest: From Abuse to Happiness

JewBu: a Jew who practices forms of Buddhist meditation & spirituality. This blog documents my quest to 1) heal from sexual, verbal, and emotional abuse, 2) come to terms with losing Mom and Grandma to Alzheimers, 3) find balance, explore the spiritual, stay present. Bascially, I've experienced some pretty crappy shit in my life and want to find a way to move past it and find happiness.

Friday, October 20, 2006

Conversation with Mom's Cousin

Mom's cousin is very concerned about things with Mom - why isn't she on medication, when will she finally get a medical examiniation, why did Dad cancel the occupational therapy. She kind of went off for a little while, which I completely understand: she's one of the nicest and most considerate people about everything but jeez. I really don't need to hear that. What can I do? Do you all know this about me - that my dad is somewhat neglectful of my mom in these ways?

She kinda pushed me like maybe I should go to the extreme of hiring and lawyer and suing Dad for custody of Mom. I just worry what he would do and that maybe he would abandon her, which would be horrible for her because she is completely dependent upon his visits. Plus, I know what taking that on would mean.

I told her that we definitely shouldn't push anything until Mom gets moved to the new facility in December. I suggested that at that point, we try to sit down with him as a group and negotiate with him, having a list of what we want. At that point, hopefully I'll be close to being done (at least with a good draft) of my thesis, and I can consider maybe going that route - if Dad is going to be like this, maybe there's no use trying to not push things with Dad and trying to salvage our relationship for the sake of Mom. Maybe the best thing to do for her would be to get custody, get her on medications and getting the care that she deserves.

What timing too - just as I am coming back to my PTSD symptoms, part of the reason that I have PTSD starts to bear its head - my father's abusiveness.

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Blogger Gail Rae said...

Family relationships amidst the intense care needed by one individual are very ticklish...I think you're refusal to be pushed by others' priorities is wise, Karma. I speak from experience. People become upset about an issue then, boom, the issue suddenly changes. Caution, in this case, is absolutely the better part of your valor.

Saturday, October 21, 2006 3:55:00 PM  
Blogger Karma said...

I like that word valor. Thanks Gail.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006 7:13:00 PM  

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