JewBu Quest: From Abuse to Happiness

JewBu: a Jew who practices forms of Buddhist meditation & spirituality. This blog documents my quest to 1) heal from sexual, verbal, and emotional abuse, 2) come to terms with losing Mom and Grandma to Alzheimers, 3) find balance, explore the spiritual, stay present. Bascially, I've experienced some pretty crappy shit in my life and want to find a way to move past it and find happiness.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

What is the Quest?

I realize that I have not previously spelled out what my quest is, though I get at it a bit in the description of the blog on the left and in the early post "Hard Times". But, I can't succeed in my quest without clearly knowing its goal. So, here it is:

My Jewbu quest is about balance and happiness. The Jewish part of me is deeply rooted in tradition and history, in finding meaning and worth in honoring those before me and making the world a better place for those who will come after me. The Jewish part of me is neurotic and anxious. The Buddhist part of me wants to find happiness in the present moment (not the past or the future), to connect with life here and now. I want to balance these parts of myself.

I also need to balance the Israeli and the American parts, the connected to my family and the focused on my own well being parts, the overachiever with the laid back parts...all of these parts of myself which must live harmoniously together.

I very much think that part of finding happiness is going to be finding a partner, a real partner who will support me and for whom I won't have to give up parts of myself but will be able to grow with. I also need a community - a lot of different relationships and connections and friendships that is Jewish, queer, academic, meditation oriented, culture oriented, and about things that are real and important - nto just connections which are trival and about a bar or escaping from life.

Part of my quest is overcoming many negative and traumatic experiences and preparing for those to come (like the loss of Grandma and Mom). I don't want to get lost in the negative anymore, but I know that I can't deny it; I have to confront it, to face it with honesty, to look at all of the negative things in the world and not lose my grounding.

Thank you to all of my blog readers, supporters, and friends who help me on this quest.

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5 Comments:

Blogger Gail Rae said...

Always, always good to remind oneself of the nature of one's quest. Interesting reading, Karma.
Thank you.

Thursday, October 19, 2006 1:25:00 PM  
Blogger Karma said...

Gail, I'm so lucky to have you as a reader: you're always so thoughtful and supportive. Thank you.

Thursday, October 19, 2006 2:39:00 PM  
Blogger Marj aka Thriver said...

Karma: So glad to be on our journeys and quests "together," so to speak. Thanks for letting me include this on our Blog Carnival. It's up now at:
http://survivorscanthrive.blogspot
I finally got you up on my sidebar links, too. Sorry I so slow! ;)

Monday, October 30, 2006 11:56:00 AM  
Blogger Karma said...

Somethings not working with your link, but people can try: http://survivorscanthrive.blogspot.com/

Thanks for including my post.

Monday, October 30, 2006 12:08:00 PM  
Anonymous JACQUELINE E THURSTON said...

Yours is a nice blog. Mark Twain: Happiness is a Swedish sunset -- it is there for all, but most of us look the other way and lose it.

Saturday, May 02, 2009 1:57:00 AM  

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