JewBu Quest: From Abuse to Happiness

JewBu: a Jew who practices forms of Buddhist meditation & spirituality. This blog documents my quest to 1) heal from sexual, verbal, and emotional abuse, 2) come to terms with losing Mom and Grandma to Alzheimers, 3) find balance, explore the spiritual, stay present. Bascially, I've experienced some pretty crappy shit in my life and want to find a way to move past it and find happiness.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

More Baby Steps, More Hurdles

The baby steps: I'm keeping up with therapy, but I notice some resistance on my part to really get in touch with my grief and sense of loss and pain about my mother. I'm keeping up with work and plugging away ever so slowly at my thesis. I have a date on Friday night, and I haven't had a lot of contact with *A* this week (in part because he's blowing me off, but also I'm not responding to it). Also, I had lunch with an old acquiantance today. Also, I met with the psychiatrist who told me that the medication probably stopped working because the depression has cleared up, and I don't need an anti-depressant anymore.

The hurdles: I'm still struggling to find time for everything. I'm still way behind in all of my work, not working out as much as I want, not doing the Stresseraser as much as I'm supposed to inorder to long term lower my anxiety level.

And, okay, this is really embarrassing, but I'll tell you in my spirit of being completely honest. I passed about a teaspoon or so blood last night in my stool. I went to student health, who had me meet with a nurse and told me that it is just hemroids. Its probably caused by the chronic digestive problems that I've suffered from influenced by stress. Stress is really taking a toll on my body. If this doesn't start to heal up, I may have to have minor surgery.

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2 Comments:

Blogger Gail Rae said...

Karma, hemorrhoids heal, often on their own or with OTC preparations; time trumps everything, so don't stress about that; you are officially coming out of depression; you're socializing; your thesis is coming along, however slowly; and, you have a date.
Sounds good to me. It takes babies a loooong time to get this far. I'd say, your steps are completely appropriate to young adulthood.

Thursday, October 12, 2006 1:35:00 AM  
Blogger Karma said...

Thanks Gail!

Thursday, October 12, 2006 9:17:00 AM  

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