JewBu Quest: From Abuse to Happiness

JewBu: a Jew who practices forms of Buddhist meditation & spirituality. This blog documents my quest to 1) heal from sexual, verbal, and emotional abuse, 2) come to terms with losing Mom and Grandma to Alzheimers, 3) find balance, explore the spiritual, stay present. Bascially, I've experienced some pretty crappy shit in my life and want to find a way to move past it and find happiness.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

I'm Back

I feel like I'm in a bit of a fog. I felt really tired on Tuesday after participating on a panel discussion and doing some work on this graduate mentoring award that I'm nominating my advisor for. A couple of friends came over to watch the Gilmore Girls and hang out. When I woke up on Wednesday, I felt a cold coming on. I had hoped that I would be able to nip it in the bud, but it just kept getting worse.

I was so exhausted the whole time that I barely left the couch and spent a lot of time just sleeping and healing. I thought a lot about when I would get sick as a kid, and mom would let me spend the day in her bed with a blanket over me with the dog and she'd bring me tea and we'd play games and watch tv together. I loved sick days with her.

On Thanksgiving, I called my sister and she put my Mom on the phone. Mom kept saying: "I just wanted to call you to say Happy Thanksgiving." Then, my niece got on the phone and sang me Thanksgiving songs. Later my sister and I talked about how dad is being very stubborn now and can't seem to relate well to Mom; he just orders her around and gets frustrated when she doesn't comply.

Today is the first day that I'm really starting to feel better. I'm still recovering, but I was able to catch up on some laundry and errands. It felt good to take some time to do these things for myself - like I've been meaning to get some things at Costco for months now, but never had time. I am WAY behind on my thesis now that almost a week has gone by without me having done any work on it. Its been two weeks since my last meeting with my advisor, and I don't have the work done that she wanted me to have. And now, it is only 2 weeks before I'm going to Kansas City. Its a bit of a whirlwind.

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1 Comments:

Blogger Gail Rae said...

I working my way forwards from where I last left off, Karma, so forgive my ignorance about what's been going on in your life, but, I wanted you to know that when I was little my mother also let me spend the day in her bed, with her jewelry box. It is a treasured memory. Very cool that you have a similar one!

Sunday, December 10, 2006 7:45:00 PM  

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