JewBu Quest: From Abuse to Happiness

JewBu: a Jew who practices forms of Buddhist meditation & spirituality. This blog documents my quest to 1) heal from sexual, verbal, and emotional abuse, 2) come to terms with losing Mom and Grandma to Alzheimers, 3) find balance, explore the spiritual, stay present. Bascially, I've experienced some pretty crappy shit in my life and want to find a way to move past it and find happiness.

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Extra, Extra: One Year Anniversary

A reporter knocked on my door last night to try to get me to go on camera to talk about the murders last year. I, of course, insisted on maintaining my privacy, but in being polite, a lot of stuff was brought up for me.

I called my neighbors to warn them about the reporter, and they insisted on coming over to get me and bring me over to their place. I was supposed to have been on campus with school friends, but it was nice to just feel safe near home and not have to go anywhere.

My neighbors met up with me again tonight, and we burned sage all around our places and the place of the neighbor that was murdered. And, I lit a yarzeit candle. It made me feel so much better to be dealing with this with others, and my neighbors are just such down to earth, sweet people; its just a nice change of pace.

I met with my pusher today aka my psychiatrist. We came up with a plan for me to go off of meds for sleeping, which will make me clean altogether. Its a six week plan, but I'm glad to be working on it. Of course, I'm having a hard time finding a pharmacy that carries the lowest dose of the meds, so I am running around in circles a bit, but Costco said they'll have it tomorrow after 2pm.

Update on the dating thing: I sent Jerry a text on Sunday: "Thinking of you and smiling." Several hours later, he sent something back like "Smiling back atcha." Then, he sent me an email yesterday, which I replied to too quickly. I brought up going out again. I haven't heard back yet. I'm trying to push myself to not obsess about any of this.

Update on Mom: I spoke with her twice today on the phone. I've been calling often. When I ask her how she's doing, she often says "busy." She tells me that she has lots to do and sighs that she's tired. I think this is a sign that she's not sleeping properly through the night.

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2 Comments:

Blogger Gail Rae said...

Floating...floating...very nice...

Saturday, February 10, 2007 10:45:00 AM  
Blogger Karma said...

Thank you Gail. I'm trying!

Monday, February 12, 2007 6:43:00 PM  

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