Good Neighbors

My neighbors had me over for dinner last night, and then we watched a movie I had netflixed "World Trade Center." I didn't talk at all about family stuff or my problems. It was exactly what the therapist suggested I try - a more superficial interaction. And actually, I was quite comforted by it, especially since it saved me from having to cook and from having to watch that movie alone. I felt somewhat vulnerable last night and having that interaction just made me feel okay again.

I feel like if I put all of my energy into coping with all of this, that I can do okay. The problem is that I have to work and finish my thesis, and the more expectations on me and focus that gets taken away from healing, the more I struggle. Then again, I don't want to scapegoat my work. Part of me knows that I just gotta get my thesis done already. I'm trying to find balance in moving forward with my work, but not pushing myself too hard.

Today, I'm lucky to have structure for this. Today is queer study group, dinner, L-Word, go out to a club night. There are a couple of people there that I know well, some recent acquaintances, and some that I don't really know. But, I think it'll be good to be out and hopefully the energy of everyone else working will give me some focus.