JewBu Quest: From Abuse to Happiness

JewBu: a Jew who practices forms of Buddhist meditation & spirituality. This blog documents my quest to 1) heal from sexual, verbal, and emotional abuse, 2) come to terms with losing Mom and Grandma to Alzheimers, 3) find balance, explore the spiritual, stay present. Bascially, I've experienced some pretty crappy shit in my life and want to find a way to move past it and find happiness.

Saturday, April 14, 2007

Jerry Called Me a JAP

Its been a busy couple of days. I've managed to start taking better care of myself though and brought myself to acupunture and got a massage yesterday. I'm also working hard on sleeping better and communicating with Jerry about birth control issues. We had a great night last night - he drove me up to the hills to watch the sunset and drink this really amazing beer. Then, we went to a new sushi restaurant, and he came over where we both fell asleep in each other's arms on the couch.

Today, he asked me to come with him to his beer club meeting. I said that I'd work out first, and then come by - as the club was meeting near my gym this month. In the car ride over there, Jerry called me a Jewish American Princess. I don't even know what we were talking about beforehand; I was just so shocked by it. At first I was just going to let the comment slide right off as if he hadn't said it. But, it just kept ringing in my head. I told him that to call someone that is offensive, and he said that he didn't realize. He apologized, but then told me that he didn't understand why I was "brooding" over the whole thing and if it really bothers me "why don't we just break up?"

I was really hurt and shocked. I called *A* who had told me before that he was going to be going out near my house and asked him if he'd give me a ride home. I left Jerry a text message that I'd be doing that....Jerry was supposed to make me dinner tonight, and then we were going to go to a party. But I haven't heard from him at all. I even called him at 6:30 - an hour and a half ago, but only got his machine.

I'm not quite sure what to think about the whole thing. It tends to take me a day or so to figure these things out - which is why I just wanted some time and space from Jerry. Although, if Jerry thinks it is okay to say sexist, mysogynistic, anti-Semetic things to me, and he's not going to try to understand where I'm coming from - maybe its time to end this.

I have to be honest that I REALLY don't want to do that. I really care about Jerry, and honestly these last 3 months - this is the longest relationship that I've had in a long time. And I've felt really comfortable and taken care of and connected and why is it that these things tend to happen so out of the blue? One minute you're happy and in what seems like this great relationship, and the next minute, you're being insulted and ignored and then months of your life just sort of disappear....

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Blogger tafka PP said...

I'm emailing you what I think about this...


Sunday, April 15, 2007 12:00:00 AM  
Blogger Gail Rae said...

WASPs are still famous for this kind of thoughtless, prejudicial, destructive behavior, Karma, at least in this country, where WASPs still think they have special status, privilege and destiny and are still partially right.

It wasn't you, it was him. This is probably one of the reasons why the members of various sub-cultures within the U.S. and any other countries where one culture is primary counsel everyone else to marry within their culture.

I'm glad you published this incident. It makes me realize that, very, very sad to say, humans still aren't any further than we were decades, even centuries, ago.

Sunday, April 15, 2007 12:50:00 PM  
Blogger Karma said...

Jerry had the nerve to tell me today that he feels out of place with my Jewish friends and thinks he will with my family. I told him that's how I've felt my whole life (except when I lived in Israel of course).

Sunday, April 15, 2007 6:27:00 PM  
Blogger tafka PP said...

Out of place with your Jewish friends?! Charming!

Sunday, April 15, 2007 10:42:00 PM  

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