This Week's Update

Wow, I really haven't been blogging as much as I used to. I do very much keep up with everyone's responses, which I greatly appreciate. And I'm trying to keep up with some of your blogs. I'm just really busy these days and not feeling as much of a need to write as much - I think because there's so many good things happening.

I'm supposed to host a prospective grad student to my department tonight, and her train is running about an hour late. I had planned to go hiking with Jerry, then pick up the prospy, get take out Chinese (on the department) and head on over to my friends' place for the L-Word. Jerry made plans to pick me up at 3pm, but when I called him at 3:15, seemed spacey about the whole thing. We rushed through hike because the first place we went was covered with brush and ended up not getting a lot of exercise so that we could get back in time for me to get to the train station in time.

Anyway, a lot of worry and effort to plan things only to have them fall apart. It hits a bit of a nerve with me - because I have a tendency to feel out of control with things and over planning helps me feel more in control EXCEPT in cases like this where nothing quite works. Also, now I'm going to have to miss the L-Word (grr). I think that I could have made things work out a bit more if I had more hutzpah, but I have a hard time asking for things, especially when things fall apart a bit and I lose my confidence.

All in all though, its been a pretty nice week. I am stressing a bit about the amount of revision work that I have to do to my thesis. Also, tomorrow night this writing group that I organize is supposed to look at something that I want to turn into an article, and I'm feeling very unprepared.

Time is kinda flying by. I'm feeling a bit nervous again about going to this upcoming conference by myself. But, I'm excited to go home to KC and see my Mom. It was her birthday on Friday. I sent flowers and Jewish pastries she likes from a NY Jewish bakery. She sent me a nice card in return. When I told her how old she was, she got really upset about it. So, when I spoke a later time with Mom and my sister, when Mom asked how old she was, my sister told her "39." Mom still didn't like that, so I said that my sister was kidding and really she's "29". Mom seemed to like that a lot better. Of course, both my sister and I are in our early 30s, so you figure that one out.

Yesterday, I took Jerry to my department barbeque and felt more comfortable there with his accompaniment. Then, we went to see Yo Yo Ma in concert, which was amazing; Jerry's friend got us in for free somehow. Next, we headed to his beer brewing club, had some Thai food, and watched Borat. Jerry spent the night for a first time in a long time, and I really liked that. I'm finally sleeping well with someone else in the bed - - although by the end of the night, by 15 lb dog had shoved Jerry's legs over to my side of the bed, so I didn't have a lot of room.

I'm working to keep my focus on the positive things and on making the most out of every moment. I'm noticing how rigid I am about certain things - when and what I eat, when I sleep - and I'm trying to not get as grochy when things can't go exactly the way that I am used to them going. And at the same time, balance this with paying attention to my needs and not getting subsumed in taking care of others.