JewBu Quest: From Abuse to Happiness

JewBu: a Jew who practices forms of Buddhist meditation & spirituality. This blog documents my quest to 1) heal from sexual, verbal, and emotional abuse, 2) come to terms with losing Mom and Grandma to Alzheimers, 3) find balance, explore the spiritual, stay present. Bascially, I've experienced some pretty crappy shit in my life and want to find a way to move past it and find happiness.

Friday, August 10, 2007

Couldn't Sleep Last Night; Email From Jerry

I could barely sleep last night. I feel sick, and I can't stop crying and having these thoughts run around in my ahead of what I could have done differently.

Here's an email that I got this morning from Jerry:
I read my book on verbal abuse this morning and I just don't see it. The root of it is described as a need to control the partner. I have no desire to control you, only to control what happens to me, just as you want to control what happens to you.

I'm sorry about the way things ended. I would have liked a hug too, but didn't want to acknowledge that we were really breaking up. I don't want to go on with the way things are either, and I will surely miss you as well.

You should know that I haven't told a girl in a long time that I loved her. But I could tell that you cared a lot about me, and I trusted you, and came to love you too. I wish I was better at conveying those same feelings to you.



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