JewBu Quest: From Abuse to Happiness

JewBu: a Jew who practices forms of Buddhist meditation & spirituality. This blog documents my quest to 1) heal from sexual, verbal, and emotional abuse, 2) come to terms with losing Mom and Grandma to Alzheimers, 3) find balance, explore the spiritual, stay present. Bascially, I've experienced some pretty crappy shit in my life and want to find a way to move past it and find happiness.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Talked It Out: Learning the Tao of Relationships

So I invited Jerry over for dinner tonight and talked it out with him. He seemed like he didn't even need to say anything; that it was understood that we're okay. I told him that I'd like it if he could tell me that he knows I'm going through a hard time and will be there for me AND something about how he feels about me. He (later) hugged me and told me something along the lines of: "I know you're going through a hard time and I'll be there for you as best I can. I really care about you."

I think that I tend to freak out if I don't get what I want or when things don't go the way that I want them to go. I tend to jump to negative conclusions. Part of what I'm learning now is the tao of relationships, I think: to have more maturity about who is "right" and "wrong" (it doesn't matter), to focus on what I'm doing instead of what my partner is or isn't doing, to let go of needing the relationship and focus on enjoying it. (And by saying that I'm learning this - I mean that I'm still in the process of learning this.)

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3 Comments:

Blogger tafka PP said...

Sounding very healthy, kal vechomer with everything you have to deal with right now. Kudos and hugs x

Thursday, July 26, 2007 5:39:00 AM  
Blogger Shari said...

Sounds like a good way to go. Many couples argue about who's right and who's wrong. A major power-struggle. What's most important is respect and empathizing what the other is going through. I never heard of "tao" in regards to relationships, only in exercise/mediation. May you continue to be strong and still get the support you want. :)

Monday, July 30, 2007 10:19:00 PM  
Blogger Karma said...

Well clearly this didn't work. But I don't think that its because of the theory. The problem was that this only works when both people are practicing it, at least to some degree. I hadn't been holding Jerry accountable for his abusive behaviors. Maybe part of what needs to be adapted to the theory is maintaining good boundaries.

Saturday, August 11, 2007 10:21:00 AM  

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