JewBu Quest: From Abuse to Happiness

JewBu: a Jew who practices forms of Buddhist meditation & spirituality. This blog documents my quest to 1) heal from sexual, verbal, and emotional abuse, 2) come to terms with losing Mom and Grandma to Alzheimers, 3) find balance, explore the spiritual, stay present. Bascially, I've experienced some pretty crappy shit in my life and want to find a way to move past it and find happiness.

Friday, August 03, 2007

Mom's Alzheimer's is Bad For My Hair

I went to get my hair cut today. I went to this guy who used to cut my hair a year or so ago, but I stopped going to him because he's super expensive, and I've been in Kansas City and all. But, I finally went back today because I've had such a hard time finding someone here to cut my hair.

I pointed out to him that it seems like my hair is getting drier and frizzier. He asked if I've been under any stress, and I noted the situation with Mom. He said that this stress is causing my hair to be dry and frizzy. I find it funny in a sad sort of way.

No one else seems to find this funny. I think I'm shock a little bit about how much everything really is affecting me and that as much as I try to make everything seem okay, it really isn't. The other night with my friends' at dinner, one was talking about how it is weird for her Mom to date. I said that I don't think that I'll have a problem with my Dad dating. That night, I was having nightmares about the whole thing. Yeah, what I said that night was true: I do want my dad to be happy. But, I can't believe that my mom is dying, that my dad is sort of single already. I can't believe that my own mom doesn't know who I am. That I can't go visit my cousins because they don't want to have anything to do with me. That my friend Kathy has cut me out of her life.

Jerry wasn't really being supportive today. He kept teasing me. And when I called him on it, he said that I don't have a good sense of humor. Then, I commented that it makes me feel like he doesn't want to talk to me when he makes phone calls when we get in the car. (He's always on the phone, and a few days ago, he spent the whole car trip on the phone.) He said that I'm too critical of him. Maybe I am. Maybe I'm taking out my sadness and frustration on him.

All I know is that I'm so affected by all of this, its effecting my hair.

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Blogger April_optimist said...

First, huge (((hugs))) for the stresses in your life. And yes, our circumstances do affect our hair. When I got divorced (after 28 years), my hair went from absolutely limp and straight to curly and with lots of body! So much so that my hairdresser thought I'd gotten a perm.

There is a book (I've written about it in my blog today) called Take the Bully by the Horns by Sam Horn. It's full of useful strategies for dealing with people who don't listen to "I" statements. (As in: I feel...when you do.....)

Saturday, August 04, 2007 8:52:00 AM  
Anonymous isha echat said...

Emotional bullying is characterized by sarcasm, name-calling, teasing, belittling, mocking, putting down, and ignoring.

Name-calling may not be what one immediately thinks of, with emotional bullies name calling is characterized by the twisting the victim's protests around. The name-calling includes accusing the victim of being "silly, stupid, oversensitive, or humorless."

It is not a joke when it's at someone else's expense. It's not a joke when it hurts another person.

I hope you buy the book April recommended. I wish you kindness, comfort, thoughtfulness, and respect in your life and your relationships.

Saturday, August 04, 2007 1:33:00 PM  

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