JewBu Quest: From Abuse to Happiness

JewBu: a Jew who practices forms of Buddhist meditation & spirituality. This blog documents my quest to 1) heal from sexual, verbal, and emotional abuse, 2) come to terms with losing Mom and Grandma to Alzheimers, 3) find balance, explore the spiritual, stay present. Bascially, I've experienced some pretty crappy shit in my life and want to find a way to move past it and find happiness.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Shana Tova

So, today, my day off, the Jewish New Year, I had planned on just enjoying the whole day. I ended up working later that I would have hoped last night, but felt good to get through what I got through. Then, I just did what I felt so instead of going to this meditation class, I stayed home and read. The first guy that I started dating, he wanted to go out, but I stuck to my guns.

Then, I woke up late this morning, enjoying not having to be up. I went to services at Hillel and felt a little out of place not having anyone to sit with and just not really connecting to how the service was led. I noticed my ex-boyfriend sitting with his new wife on the other side. I only stayed until lunch time.

Then, I went home to make lunch and got a phone message from one of the members of my committee. He insisted on meeting me at 3:30 downtown. I had a date at 2pm 30 minutes away in the other direction. Plus, I wasn't prepared. So, I changed my date to 1:15 and got in gear.

The date was fun. We met at the beach with our dogs. There wasn't so much to talk about - as she's never been to college and works in a vet office, so we don't necessarily have tons in common. Plus, her dog kept growling at mine. But, it was fun to be outside and do sort of an alternative taslich.

Then, I ran home to wash the sand off the dog and myself. I had all of like 20 minutes. Then, I ran downtown. Luckily, things went well, and he just expressed great confidence in me and basically is going to let me just finish my work as planned and leave town without having to do more than I planned.

After coming back home to dry off the dog, I got picked up for my next date - all the way back downtown again. There was an outdoor jazz concert, and we grabbed some food for dinner to picnic. That was fun, although I'm not sure what I think about this guy. He's an activist and interesting and an intellectual but I'm just not sure. And then when he dropped me off at home, he like leaned in to kiss me. So I kissed him! I'm so weirded out by it honestly. He took me by surprise. And jeez, I mean, I liked it. But, I think I just feel weird about dating all of these people. Tomorrow, I'm going out with a different guy that I'll be kissing. And then Saturday, this woman whose flirting with me is coming on my wine tasting birthday tour and then my afternoon date for today is meeting us maybe too.

I've never done anything like this before. I'm more of the one person at a time girl. I don't think that I'm doing anything wrong because its so early with all of them, but I'm a little afraid that as this continues, that I'm going to have to decide on only one. Or maybe I need to talk to them all about how I can't get serious about anyone for awhile.

I wish us all a happy, healthy, and balanced new year.

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3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wishing you a happy new year as well!!

So sorry our phone conv. got cut short the other day. Wishing you tons of fun on your wine tasting adventure today!!!!!

hugs, S.

Saturday, September 15, 2007 9:30:00 AM  
Blogger Shari said...

Well, take your time. If it's early, it's not like you are cheating on them.

I don't think I dated more than two guys at the same time and it was within the first three dates. Enough to make up my mind, though.

Only you know what's in your heart.

Happy Birthday, happy new year.

Saturday, September 15, 2007 5:09:00 PM  
Blogger I Survive! said...

shana tovah!

Monday, September 17, 2007 9:24:00 AM  

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