JewBu Quest: From Abuse to Happiness

JewBu: a Jew who practices forms of Buddhist meditation & spirituality. This blog documents my quest to 1) heal from sexual, verbal, and emotional abuse, 2) come to terms with losing Mom and Grandma to Alzheimers, 3) find balance, explore the spiritual, stay present. Bascially, I've experienced some pretty crappy shit in my life and want to find a way to move past it and find happiness.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Genetic Testing

Augh! My father can be SOOO frustrating sometimes. I called him tonight to hear about how my sister's kids get on his nerves and then the fight starts. Dad tells me that his doctor said that he can order genetic testing for Mom to find out if she has a strain of Alzheimer's that they know has certain genetic markers. I've been working on getting this done for ages!!! See here for a post I wrote last year about it. But, he's not going to do it because he can't be bothered and he doesn't see a point since it can't for certain say whether or not she has Alzheimer's.

I'm so frustrated because I went along with him ordering that Mom will get an autopsy after she passes just to get this testing done, but he clearly has forgotten about that. He doesn't care. He just wants the autopsy to prove to himself that its Alzheimer's. Its so BS. Clearly, she has Alzheimer's. Her symptoms are SOOOO classic, and if were something else then why wouldn't he make some sort of attempt to figure it out and treat it.

I want the genetic testing done because I want some sort of better indication if I'm going to get Alzheimer's. And I can't find a doctor who will do it for me because only certain ones can do it, and the guy I found here said he has ethical issues with doing the test on me and recommended having it done for Mom.

I'm tired of his argumentativeness, his controlling behavior, and the way that he'll say whatever just to change the subject and get what he wants.

He's going forward with selling Mom's condo FAST even though my sister noted that Grandma's possessions are there and should be gone through to see if there are heirlooms. Dad claims that Mom's sis probably took out anything valuable already. I didn't have the energy to argue that something doesn't have to be worth a lot of money to be an heirloom.

AUGH! I'm so sick of my family BS. I am not looking forward to my trip to KC. And then there's another one in March/April. After that, I'm done for the year. Seriously, maybe I'll go back the next September or December, but there's no more than three trips MAX. No more 5 trips/year like this year. My early New Year's resolution is to stop sacrificing myself so much for my family instead of focusing on building my life here and working on my career. I don't need to let them walk all over me, especially since there's not much more to do for Mom anymore and its not like I'm actually successful in most of my efforts anyway.

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Blogger April_optimist said...

Much sympathy. You and your siblings should have a chance to go through the condo before it's sold--but it may not happen. Could he put the contents in storage until each of you has a chance to go through them?

As for testing...what would you do differently if you knew? Can you do the positive things even if you don't? Like living and having fun NOW. Like staying up on research as it surfaces about early detection and treatment. Seriously, what would you do differently if you knew? And can you use that to get your dad to see things your way? (Guys tend to want concrete reasons for things--not just "this is how I feel" even if that should be enough.)

Tuesday, December 04, 2007 9:15:00 AM  
Blogger Karma said...

I won't birth children if I have this genetic defect. I found some local expert here who is helping me get in touch with the company that does the testing so that hopefully I can get the test done on my own.

Dad doesn't care about how I feel at all. That's my opinion of him these days.

Monday, December 10, 2007 2:45:00 PM  
Anonymous Peg Lee said...

Your dads being stubborn. All as i can say is Talk! Talk to him! I know that stubborness runs in my hat way myself. Its wrong of him to just despose of your grandmas things without you getting to go through them.

Ive thought about genetic testing and for me...i say no!! I would prolly get depressed and not be able to go on, knowing of what is to come. I think that why most doctors wont do the testing because it gives people a death sentence and would quite possible ruin their lives.

Thursday, December 13, 2007 10:13:00 PM  

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