JewBu Quest: From Abuse to Happiness

JewBu: a Jew who practices forms of Buddhist meditation & spirituality. This blog documents my quest to 1) heal from sexual, verbal, and emotional abuse, 2) come to terms with losing Mom and Grandma to Alzheimers, 3) find balance, explore the spiritual, stay present. Bascially, I've experienced some pretty crappy shit in my life and want to find a way to move past it and find happiness.

Monday, December 10, 2007

Dad's Calling Names, Family's Falling Apart

So, my sister called me this morning from Costco. She ran into Dad, who looked at her and asked "how's the little [name of my aunt]? That's what you are: a little [name of my aunt]." Now if you've been following my blog, you know that my family fell apart because of arguments between my father and my mom's sister, who my father despises, so you can imagine what an insult that is. Then, he just walked off.

When I spoke with Dad later in the morning, he told me the whole story and like trying to argue with me. Then, he got off the phone.

I don't know what to do. I feel so depressed to have the rest of my family fall apart in this time where we really need to be sticking together. I called in Dad's best friend to help, but my sister is almost definitely going to go to Florida when I'm there. So, I can stay at their place, however, it'll be weird and won't get to see my niece and nephew. My sister is going to stop going to dinner with my parents, which means Dad will have to stop taking Mom out.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

OH crap! Are you kidding me? I don't know what is going on but it seems like your father is getting more and more angry. Do you think it's because your mom is so close to the end and these are displaced feelings? I know you 2 haven't agreed on a lot of things, but part of me can't help but wonder if he's trying to do the whole hard exterior, get the job done as he sees fit thing as a coping mechanism. Stay strong, you. On the bright side, at least you have somewhere more neutral to chill so that you can cool off in between seeing him on your trip.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007 9:07:00 AM  
Blogger Marj aka Thriver said...

YOUCH! That's a lot to deal with. I'm so sorry. I don't have any ideas, but I do want you to know that you are in my thoughts and I'm sending PEACE vibes.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007 11:17:00 AM  
Anonymous said...

The hard part about this disease is what it does to families. It tears them apart, literally! My family is no different then yours...we are falling apart too. Dad pushes me away whenever he can, last Christmas, i was plannin on cooking Christmas dinner at his house...out of the blue he say, im not contributing any money for dinner and as far as im concerned, I dont want you to cook it here. Its just not the same without your Mom. Step inside his shoes...He has lost the most important person in his life...his lifes mate, way too soon, he watching her waste away infront of his eyes everyday...he has no break. Please whatever you do...dont walk away from him without telling him your reasons, so maybe he can attempt to change. He needs you and your sister more then you wll ever know. Tell your sister, that you will use her home if needed.
Much love,

Thursday, December 13, 2007 9:39:00 PM  
Blogger Karma said...

I always try to tell Dad what he's done wrong before giving the situation some space. He never seems to listen, or at least really hear me.

Dad's best friend says that he's trying to push everyone away in his life. As things continue to get out of control, he tries to close in the circle.

Friday, December 14, 2007 10:56:00 PM  

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