JewBu Quest: From Abuse to Happiness

JewBu: a Jew who practices forms of Buddhist meditation & spirituality. This blog documents my quest to 1) heal from sexual, verbal, and emotional abuse, 2) come to terms with losing Mom and Grandma to Alzheimers, 3) find balance, explore the spiritual, stay present. Bascially, I've experienced some pretty crappy shit in my life and want to find a way to move past it and find happiness.

Monday, January 28, 2008

Good Times, Friend Dies

So last night I met on old friend at one of my favorite bars for a drink. He's leaving town, and it was nice to have time to catch up. It was funny though, he asked me: "So why is it that all of your friends are either Jewish or lesbians?"

Then, I went over to a friend's place where a group of us meet every Sunday to watch the "L Word." Even though I got there late, they waited for me. We were laughing and commenting on the show. After it ended, we sat around and talked and played the Wi that someone just bought.

Until we got the call. A friend of ours died Sunday night. She had been not feeling well for months now. I didn't know this because we weren't that close, but apparently she was having very low blood sugar and lots of other symptoms. The doctors either would tell her that there wasn't anything wrong or send her away. She often ended up in urgent care, and the doctors there wouldn't pay too much attention to her. The bills from that added up until she owed so much that the hospital didn't want to treat her anymore. She struggled to find any medical care.

She went to her parents' home to try to get better. Last week, she finally got a diagnosis: Addison's Disease. And then, she just died.

We were all in shock. I stayed around until 12:30 am comforting my friends and trying to process. I'm VERY ANGRY that my friend died this very preventable death because doctors tend not to take women seriously and because we don't have affordable health care in this country. I'm sad to see my friends in pain. And, I'm thinking about how hard it is to lose my Mom.

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Blogger I Survive! said...

My condolences on your loss. I'm sure it makes you think about death even more. It reminds me of what my (dying) friend told me, "The person who dies experiences dying, not death; The rest of us, experience death, not dying". It is very painful, I understand. However, we keep not just their loss, but also their personalities and memories alive within us. Hope you have some good memories of this person for keepsake.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008 9:36:00 PM  
Blogger Lynn said...

Oh, Karma. I'm so sorry. That is absolutely horrible. You are right. Women are often not taken seriously by doctors and the healthcare situation is a national disgrace. It really hits home when there is a face on it.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008 12:45:00 AM  
Blogger Karma said...

Well, the hard thing when someone with Alzheimer's dies is that the rest of us do experience the dying.

I may write a post later about the numerous faces I am know of on this health care crisis.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008 9:11:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am so sorry and send a hug your way. Your friend's treatment is appauling and you have every right to feel the way you do. Glad you and your friends are there for each other at this difficult time.

Thursday, January 31, 2008 2:46:00 PM  
Blogger April_optimist said...

Big, big hugs! It's so hard to lose a friend and when it happens this way....what a tragedy. I hope that you can find some ritual--a private one that you create--that can bring you some comfort.

Saturday, February 02, 2008 7:12:00 PM  
Blogger Karma said...

A ritual is a good idea. I'll have to think about that for a bit.

Saturday, February 02, 2008 10:39:00 PM  

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