Plan for the Day

Okay, so last night sucked. And waking up without *A* sucked. But, I've got to get over it and figure out how to make the most of my day. I really need to work on this presentation that I'm giving on Tuesday. Then, at 4:45pm I'm expected to be at one of my advisors' house for a seder. I really don't know if I am up for going, but it is too late to back out. It was a really big deal to get an invitation. And my my main advisor/mentor is going to be there, which gives me comfort, but she's leaving super early, which means I'll be stuck there on my own. I think I'm mostly nervous because I don't know what to expect, and I feel like I have to put aside all of my anxiety somehow to get through the thing. I certainly can't talk about it there. I'll have to act "normal"/like everything's just hunky dory fabulous. So, I'm just going to do this today. Maybe before I go to the seder, I'll go work out. I've been working out seriously almost every day. My muscles are actually a bit sore. But, it eats away the anxiety, and I get to feel the endorphins. The stresseraser thing isn't working as well because when I'm really upset, I can't get my breath to be relaxed, so it just points out to me that I'm freaking out bascially. There is so much pressure on this week. I have a presentation at school on Tuesday and a completely different one at a conference next Sunday. Part of me doesn't feel up to it. Dr. S says that I have to use positive thinking. Instead of thinking about all of the things that can go wrong, I have to focus on it going well, imagining it going well like a track star would imagine winning a race. I think its a good idea; I'm just having a hard time actually doing it.